Seeking my bear
I found cobalt dragonflies
Lounging on blades of grass;
Water gleaming, cradling boulders;
Knotted roots anchoring pines.
Two osprey circled the mountain air.
They crisscrossed,
And I felt you
Standing next to me
As if we would hold a secret
Of a dive into the alpine lake,
Returning to the sky with a fish.
Then, we would catch a kiss and a bear hug
Beside the shore.
You are beyond words
Beyond definition
Known by a thousand names
You are
The unnamable one
How am I charmed
To feel our connection
Speak to you through my center
My guides
Your responses evade
My comprehension
I do not always hear
Or accept
Your soft, still voice
But please,
Speak to me
In a way I can understand
Sprinkle my dreams with your visions
Help me move beyond words
Beliefs
Keeping me in cycles
Separate from your touch
I have arrived —
With you gazing at me
The way you do —
To a place of absolute peace
Absolute freedom
Knowing that
All the pieces of my past
That hurt, that healed,
That sent me in roundabout directions,
Make perfect sense
Because every moment existed
For me to arrive and experience
This look upon your face
Pouring through my window
Casting rainbows across my room
Plants have long awakened
Petals expanding into bloom
In the brightness and warmth
Colors dance across my face
Memories of steps with you
Our arms linked perfectly in place
With feet kissing the earth
A rhythm for our hearts to follow
Moving us deeper into our embrace
Erasing all doubts and sorrow
What will I do
With these affirmations of endearment
I wrote for you
If you won’t accept them?
Maybe I’ll stitch them up
Like a handmade quilt
Or use them
As a double umbrella
With room for another
Heart to hold
Covered in thick metallic plates
A shield against feeling
Anything —
Not even the persistent howl
For agency
For desires you decided had to die —
Knowing that cry within myself
I sensed it
Or maybe I saw it in an amulet
When I brought you to natural, warm waters
Sheltered between lilacs and willows
We submerged our bodies in the crystal reverie
And I called that voice forward
Breathing life into dormant dreams
Now,
Will you put down your arms
And listen to him sing?
All the times I drift away
Carried by the waters of my mind
To the ballad of our kinship
The felt-sense of your comfort
Guiding me away from —
The reality
That I cannot stretch far enough
To graze your face with my palms —
So I return here
I return and return
To my affection turning and tuning
Expanding beyond the boundaries
Of your absence
Sunken and starving, you arrived
Giving more than you are
I brought you to my altar
And lit candles
As you folded
Into
Yourself
Waking to nourish
On the fruits of my land
Gathered for your blessing
For your color restoring
I whispered my devotion
You are the eternal light that sustains me
In the darkest void from which I am born
Supporting my faith in steadiness
Cradled in your glowing palm
A pulse that sooths and smooths
The edges of my skin lose meaning
As I’m nurtured in your care
Your murmur at dawn
Is pastel poetry inked
Against cumulus clouds
Cast on an ancient lake
Awakening me with
Redwoods, clovers, and ferns
Night’s cosmos disappearing
Into the charm and radiance of your eyes
glamsient.me 