A Voice Cries out in the Wilderness

May 11, 2016August 7, 2022 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ 5 Comments

A few days ago, I wanted to hike somewhere I had never been before. I chose the Loch Leven Trail in the Tahoe National Forest because of the picturesque lakes, waterfalls, and railroad crossing I saw online. On the drive up I eagerly anticipated the new adventure.

As soon as I arrived, however, the unfamiliar terrain made me uneasy. Eventually, I found the trail marker — an old, weather-worn, small, wooden sign nailed to a tree. It was so inconspicuous, I was surprised I saw it.

Stepping onto the trail, it took me several minutes to orient myself. I walked along boulders, often intuitively choosing the direction; many times the trail split into deer paths. I felt a growing nervousness. It would be better to do this hike with a friend. I thought of going back. But no! My glamsient life is not about limitations! It’s about freedom and adventure! Instead of turning around, I built cairns to mark my route.

As I hiked, loneliness settled deeply into my heart. With a friend, building cairns would be fun, we would laugh when they fell and see who could build a better tower; we wouldn’t be scared because we would have each other. By myself, it was a response to real fear — getting lost in the wilderness, alone.

The loneliness grew: it wasn’t just this hike, it was a continuation of loneliness I experienced since I began my glamsient journey a year ago, as if it picked up where the previous lonely day had left off, compounded by the ones before that.

Keeping to my mindfulness practice, I stopped and encountered the loneliness. The pain diminished under the light of awareness, and once it did, I meditated on feelings of love — the eternal wellspring of love.

Despite my efforts, however, the loneliness kept returning. I knew following sadness into despair was not the way; it is a pattern in my past, and I am leaving that behind. But when would the loneliness stop, so I could just enjoy myself?

I may have been climbing a mountain, but I was climbing on the inside as well. I was fighting between who I have been and who I want to be. And every internal step began to feel more and more tired.

I kept going; trying to remain present; building cairns; listening to trickling streams caress the trail, sliding down rock faces that once housed glaciers; watching tiny waterfalls cascade over tree branches; hearing the small sound of a grey frog bellyflopping into a puddle when I startled him.

Turning a corner, I came upon a snow patch! I was elated to see snow this close to summer, but then I was overcome with loneliness because I didn’t have a friend with me to share my joy. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I be happy just to see it by myself?

In all this pain and conflict, I had to sit on a rock to center myself. When I did, tears came to my eyes, and I let myself cry. I stayed present with my sadness; it was joined by doubt. In my glamsient life, wasn’t I walking a new and unfamiliar path? I had chosen to become a glamsient to fulfill a deep need to self-actualize artistically, and it had since grown into a journey of deeper consciousness and spirituality. But if I was so lonely on this new life path that I couldn’t enjoy the trail under my feet and the unfolding adventure, what was the point?

Suddenly, the path I had chosen a year ago didn’t make sense. Suddenly, even though it had seemed right at the time, I felt like I should have never left my easy, comfortable, former life. I had a nice home and a large group of good friends. I hadn’t been deeply satisfied, it lacked substance and felt restrictive, but at least I never felt like this! Why would I ever leave that easy life behind?

Certainly, the past year of glamsient living gave me moments of unparalleled joy and, although I have a lot of work to do, I have grown as an artist — producing more and better work than before. Taking the time to dive into my spirituality has created greater meaning and presence in my life. Moving towards greater consciousness has helped me become aware of and break habitual attachments and patterns. But couldn’t I have done all this, couldn’t I have made the same artistic and spiritual gains, and still kept my familiar home and nearby friends? Wasn’t this new path counterproductive if I felt so miserable and conflicted in this present moment?

I looked out past the trees to see billowing clouds above the snow-capped mountains articulated by jagged points and crags.

“Help me,” I said through my tears, a voice crying out in the wilderness. “Let me see the Truth.”

For no reason in particular, I turned to look behind me. There I saw a small pine tree with a curved trunk growing out of a rock! I laughed through my tears. I have long identified with trees growing out of rocks; my spirit seems to me like it springs from a hard and lifeless place and it is only through the sheer power and persistence of the Creator that my soul survives and thrives. I even have a tattoo on my leg of a tree with a bend in its trunk — just like the tree I saw before me.

As if I were given an immediate answer to my cry, the Creator spoke to me through the small, bent tree: “You are never alone. I am here, watching, listening. Feel me. Feel my Love. You belong on this path — this unfamiliar, new path. The struggle you feel is your spirit breaking the chains of illusion. Your suffering is an illusion created by your mind from false ideas and parameters of happiness. Have faith in this path; I illuminated it in Truth a year ago. I led you here. Trust your creativity; it is my gift to you; it will heal you. Trust your dreams; I gave them to you and I want them to manifest. Trust that as you follow your dreams, you step closer to Me and your own divinity.”

Hearing this message with the ears of my heart, I felt a sense of comfort and strength wash over me. Without leaving my former life, I would not have gotten to this very moment on this rock to encounter the Spirit that tore through my sadness with Truth. Without leaving my former life, I could not embark upon this new journey that is filled with inspiration, expansion, meaning, and authenticity. With renewed support, I closed my eyes and allowed the air to dry my tears. I saw myself scoop the dark and painful emotions from my heart and surrender them to the Divine. In the open space a love, whole and gentle, spread outward with a vibration so complete that it softened the edges of my being.

I stood up, and with faith in myself and my journey, continued hiking the unfamiliar path.

On my way down the mountain, I passed several cairns I had made. One even helped me when I couldn’t find the trail. When I saw the parking lot, it seemed I completed an incredible journey, not just a couple miles.

Getting into my car, a half-grown pup ran over to me, smiling and wagging it’s tail.

“Hey, buddy,” I said.

His owner, wearing all khaki including a floppy hat with the chin strap pulled tight, approached us. “Finishing up?” He asked.

“Yep.”

“How was the trail?”

“Beautiful. I love hiking. I would have preferred to hike with another person, but the time alone was –.”

“Enriching?”

“Eventually. I was pretty uneasy at first.”

“Understandable. You know, there’s a lot of hiking groups in this area. They go around and hike all the peaks together. You should check it out.”

“Thanks! That’s a great idea.”

“Have a good day,” he said.

“I will,” I replied, sure of my words, “you, too.”

The Miracle of Wildflowers

April 29, 2016April 29, 2016 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ Leave a comment

I struggle with writer’s block. It makes me uptight, irritable, cranky; I joke to my friends that on bad days I feel “artistically constipated.” Today I woke up feeling a strong block. Instead of wallowing in front of my computer, however, I unplugged and took a walk.

Tall trees marked the entrance of the forest. Pines and Redwoods reached for the sky. I thought of their roots simultaneously pushing down and wondered what they looked like underground. For a moment, I stood still, breathing in and out, acknowledging the exchange between myself and the trees — I breathe their air; they breathe mine — we are one.

Walking into the forest, the sounds of birds filled the air around me as the rush of traffic faded into the distance — peace grew with every step I took.

Or did it?

As I walked, I quickly caught myself tromping unconsciously; I was literally stomping on the living, breathing being we call Earth, seeing Nature without noticing any of it. Immediately, I stopped and connected to my breath.

“Breathing in, I know that I am walking the in forest.

Breathing out, I stop to watch Nature reveal Her mystery to me.”

For no reason in particular, I looked to my right. Above the bushes I saw a bee — a longtime talisman of mine signaling the Divine presence. In this moment, I felt Nature telling me to notice the flowers.

I continued along the path, slowing down and listening with greater awareness to the singing birds while soaking in the warmth of the sun that cascaded to the ground between the trees. Only a few steps later, I happened upon a bush with small, bell-shaped, yellow flowers. Had I not caught my unconsciousness moments before, I would have missed them. As I walked on, I noticed more flowers; I saw yellow, blue, white and purple flowers; large clumps of flowers, teeny flowers all on their own. In each flower I could see the sun, the earth, the rain, the bees, generations of flowers, and all the cosmos; a miracle to behold, a miracle that I could see! A tiny white flower with six, triangular petals gave me pause; it looked like the sacred geometry symbolizing consciousness. This flower spoke to me. It said, “you are here, now; we are here together in this now.” I smiled to the tiny flower.

The forest proclaimed an abundance of miracles and I was present to witness them!

My walk today epitomizes glamsient living: enjoying more with less. The glamsient life is driven by lived experiences, not acquiring possessions. And to live our experiences deeply, we must be present — with practice it is readily available. Noticing the beauty of wildflowers is free; cultivating mindfulness is free; seeing, understanding, and being one with the forest is exquisite.

Bourgeois Picnic with Linney

March 11, 2016 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ 6 Comments

This morning, Linney invited me to her mountain retreat in Carmel Valley, California. On such a beautiful day as today, of course I accepted.

When I arrived, I walked the path to the main house and saw purple wild flowers and yellow dandelions had made their springtime debut. The mountainside was green and the air was warm. Birds sang and danced on the beautifully twisted oak trees and new, vibrant leaves sprouted from bare branches.

Once inside, Linney and I got straight to catching up on our latest glamsient adventures, and most importantly, making a bourgeois picnic.

A bourgeois picnic is any smattering of fine foods like gourmet cheeses and herbed crackers, tapenade and berries, bell peppers and humus, fruits and champagne. Personally, a bourgeois picnic is my favorite part of glamsienting. No matter where I find myself, a bourgeois picnic makes me happy; it can make even a run down wharf feel fresh!

Today, Linney had heirloom tomatoes, basil and mozzarella so we made a quick caprese salad. When we finished, we were still hungry, and so we put together a plate of assorted cheeses, rosemary crackers, blueberries, honey and fig jam.

“Aren’t we lucky to live where all this food is locally available?” She asked.

“Absolutely,” I said, looking out over Carmel Valley to the Pacific Ocean. The sun was setting, casting a soft light across the landscape. “This bourgeois picnic is divine.”

“We do pretty well for a couple of ratchets,” she laughed.

As night fell, a symphony of frogs serenaded us while we watched the lights turn on in Monterey and the stars fill the sky.

Torin Plays the Palace

March 4, 2016March 11, 2016 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ Leave a comment

Tonight I am in the palace hotel marveling at the crystal chandeliers; marble pillars; candelabras; and high, stained glass, arched ceiling. I sit in the corner of a comfortable, blue banquet couch; I touch it’s soft, yet strong fabric and notice golden rivets adorn the borders. I feel natural on this couch. I am wearing leather boots that I bought in Spain, and a long shawl. My hair is shiny and my makeup is soft. Looking at me, nobody would imagine that last week I slept in a friend’s van.

The waitress brings me Organic Emperor’s Jasmine tea in white set. The silver utensils are polished to perfection — I see the stained glass ceiling reflected in the curvature. A revolving tea strainer rests in the cup. It is so ingenious that I’m surprised I haven’t seen one before.

I love the grandeur and luxury of the hotel; the orchids and gold moldings; the yellow stone walls; the tall, mirrored doors. I would live in the Palace Hotel if I could. (I’ll start with one night — when I have the budget!)

Most of all, I love my longtime friend, Torin Martinez, who is finger picking his amplified acoustic guitar in the middle of the salon. Just a moment ago, he was improvising on the piano and singing — all while the guitar played harmony. The sound is rich and layered, and without looking, I’d think there were at least two or three people playing. But Torin performs solo; he uses pedals to record the guitar and then plays over the loop. With this technique, Torin turns himself into a one-man band.

And his voice — it’s silky and smooth like a fine chocolate.

Artistic patronage is as old as history, and Torin finds himself in a fruitful situation similar to many of the greatest artists (and glamsients!) of all time. Although he is not directly funded by a nobleman, the Palace Hotel supports Torin, allowing him the resources to pursue his own musical career composing and producing R&B and Hip-Hop.

If you’re in San Francisco, the palace hotel is worth a visit, especially when you can catch Torin play there every weekday from 5-9.

The Glam in Glamsient

February 26, 2016February 29, 2016 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ Leave a comment

A few nights ago I met with a group of friends in Nevada City, CA at Three Forks Bakery and Brewery. The five of us sat at a large, sturdy wooden table; our group consisted of three musicians, a photographer, and me (a writer). We spoke of art and politics, festivals and hiking, our latest projects and our recent travels. The restaurant buzzed around us.

After a round of drinks, we ate together in my favorite manner — family style. Between the five of us, we enjoyed a multitude of salads, small plates, pizzas and desserts all made, for the most part, with locally sourced, organic ingredients. Collectively, we indulged in a wide array of the eclectic menu; choosing independently, we brought an assortment of tastes to the table. We took each other in unexpected and unplanned directions, and the result surprised even us! Each dish, distinct and flavorful, brought new notes to our palette. We all loved every dish we tried — and that’s not an exaggeration!

Life within a community is rich. We try new things we never would have tried on our own; the people around us bring their unique flavor and tastes to the table. We can have more and try more through our networks. Sharing our joy and passion multiplies our happiness; sharing our gifts and talents increases our ability.

So it is living a glamsient life. In the beginning, Linney introduced me to the glamsient lifestyle and my friend, James, made it possible; to keep the glamsient times rolling, I have created work and trade relationships with my friends and family for money, housing, and furthering my career as a writer — something I never did when I lived an insular 9-5 life.

Immersing in community is a vibrant effect of the glamsient life. Now I am more connected in mutually beneficial relationships with the people I care about and I can focus more on my art. Travel and luxury are amazing facets of the glamsient life, but a stronger sense of community is the true glamor in glamsient — I feel more inspired, vital, and productive than ever before. Just as the family style dinner at Three Forks allowed me to dive deeper into their menu than I would have on my own, living more fully in my community has taken me in new directions and added new meaning to my life.

I am truly grateful for my community!

By the way, if you visit Three Forks in Nevada City, try one (all!) of my favorites: the pozole, the Aw Snap and If I Only Had a Grain salads, the bacon-date bread, and the lemon tart. Enjoy!

The Aw Snap Salad; photo courtesy of Three Forks Facebook; facebook.com/ThreeForksNC

Linney

February 19, 2016 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ 4 Comments

Linney, now the media director for her local NORML chapter and no longer homefree, introduced me to the glamsient lifestyle. We met at my friend James’ Lightning in a Bottle pre-party.

When I walked onto the property, she was sitting with James and a few others next to the salt-water pool. Everyone was in festi-attire. Each unique, yet typical: cat ears, gypsy pants, leggings, crop tops, tie dye, faux fur.

Linney stood out. She wore a crown made with large pieces of smokey quartz crystal and a see-through little black dress. Gold jewelry sparkled on her ears, neck and wrists; a diamond ring on her right hand glittered in the sun. A long, pashmina scarf draped from her shoulders. She poured a glass of red wine.

James gave me a bear hug when I walked up, but he was mostly preoccupied with his mirror, so I sat down next to Linney.

“Hello!” she smiled. Her teeth glittered like her diamond ring. “Want some wine?”

“I’d love some.”

“Here,” she handed me the glass she had just filled. “I’m Linney.”

“Chelsea,” I said.

“How do you connect with us?” she poured herself a glass of wine.

“I know James. He gave me a ticket.”

“Me too! I think he’s bringing most of us here. He gave his favorite broke friends tickets. Cause he wants us to be there with him.”

“Seriously?” I couldn’t believe it. “How many of us?”

“Maybe, like, ten or fifteen.”

I did the math in my head — more than $3,000 on tickets for his friends. Damn. Wow. Here I was thinking I was special.

Linney laughed, “he’s the best kind of eccentric rich guy: generous.”

“Indeed… To James,” I said, raising my glass.

“To James!” she tapped my glass with hers. “The only reason we’re here.”

“So, you’re broke, too? Hard to believe.”

Linney laughed. “Yep. I’m a hobo!”

“No way! Me, too!” I laughed along with her.

“You are?! Oh em gee. James finds all the bohemian strays and gives us homes.”

“That’s so funny. I thought I was the only one who lived on his land.”

“Almost everyone here lives on one of his properties. He has so many. You can tell the ones who don’t because they are his rich friends.”

“I would’ve thought you were one of his rich friends!”

“Really?” She looked earnestly into my eyes.

“Yes! Absolutely!”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and laughed at the sky, “I’m rich in fun!”

cairns at LiB — Cairns at Lightning in a Bottle

Destination: Unknown

February 9, 2016March 21, 2016 ~ Chelsea Lynn ~ 4 Comments

Nine months ago I began my life as a glamsient, although I didn’t know it at the time. The lifestyle wasn’t on my radar; I didn’t know it existed. Of course, people were living as glamsients, but I didn’t know any. To my knowledge, they weren’t calling themselves glamsients either — when it came out of the ether and into my mind I googled it and nothing! (Not even urban dictionary!)

Yet here I am, nine months later, living as a glamsient.

The glamsient life hasn’t been easy; living on the road (I’m homefree, not homeless) came with emotional difficulties. Unexpected twists and turns could make life feel erratic and unstable, but the highs of glamsient life — from wine tasting in Carmel to lounging fireside in the Sierras — kept me going. Now that I’ve settled in, the twists and turns no longer make me road-sick; now I feel a sense of unfettered adventure.

What could be more glamsient than that?