Betrayal

I

She pulled into their gravel driveway to find

The table they picked out from the vintage shop down the hill

Matching chairs he gave her as a birthday gift

Baskets he brought home to cheer her up one day

The blue bench they put beneath their bedroom window

Her desk, their couches, bookshelves, her artwork, and end tables she painted

Piled into a haphazard pyramid

She stepped out of her car in confusion, leaving the door open 

Not knowing his secrets

She made a procession around their belongings

II

He came out of their house carrying bags of her books

She collected since childhood

His face, strange and distorted around his lips and eyes

Contempt and arrogance wrinkled his brow

What are you doing, was all she could muster

This is your fault, was all he replied

As he dumped her books into the mess

She pulled at his arm and begged him to stop

He pushed her away

Tears poured down her cheeks as she plucked books from the jumble

And tried to salvage

Their home their comfort their love

Their connectedness to each other and this place

Relics of their little family, their shared life and time

But he yanked her away

And threw her to the ground

III

She crumpled and watched in hopeless horror 

In anguish and sorrow

As he poured gas from the cans they bought for off-grid adventures

His heart aching, his wounds projecting

Just tell me you understand, he spat

But no, after so much work, she had arrived

Wasn’t that miracle — enough?

He lit the cloth torch soaked in gas

And tossed it

Spiraling destruction scorching their world

IV

Watching her life combust before her, she dropped into the void 

And was no longer afraid 

Mistaking the bonfire for the flames within her heart 

She stood, feeling no other place that she belonged

With her back to the fire, she faced him and reached for him

Not knowing his deceits

She squeezed his hand and stared into his eyes

Reflecting chaos and pain

Inhaling deeply, she let go, took several steps backwards and leapt into the inferno

Her body convulsed into shock

As she lay dying, devoured by the pyre

She believed, or imagined, it was his warm arms that enfolded her

His ego smiled, watching her engulfed, finally satisfied to know 

The extent of her love

V

When only embers, hardware, and her jewelry remained

He stepped to the wreckage of their life

In that moment 

From the ashes of his darkness

A bird of light burst forth like a call from the heavens

Her wings fanned open, gleaming gold

Her long, luminous tail feathers unfurled

She floated like a star above the ruin  

In the bright radiance of her beauty and truth

Grains of sand, pieces of his reality he couldn’t contain

Spilled from behind his mask

The sight and sound startled her like a door slamming shut 

Pressing against the air, her wide wings 

Effortlessly took her over the trees

On an incandescent flight

Children of the Earth and Sky

North out of Yellowstone, a two-lane road snaked along the hillside and next to a dark blue-green river, white ripples cascading from rocks. Around a bend, traffic slowed to a stop and go. I pressed and released the break with patience born from heart full of bison, caribou, and mineral pools. 

Onto a straightaway, we saw a bull elk down river, and knew the traffic jam was for him. 

As we neared, we found a crowd of people only tamed by the limited parking area. We got lucky. A car put on its reverse lights as we approached. And just like the others, we left our car with camera in hand to admire and immortalize the stag in our memory.

As we focused on the bull, a man excitedly approached us to point and say, “this is the most incredible thing. There’s a mom over there and baby in the grass!”

The mother relaxed close to the river, her golden back to the crowd, wanting to enjoy the view, but her ears turned back, knowing humans could not be trusted. We walked a few steps further to find the baby behind tall grass. It stood facing us, its innocent eyes on us. Nervous, yet unafraid, knowing its father stood behind in the river, his robust, spearlike antlers facing the crowd. Ready if necessary, keeping an eye toward us as he lowered his mouth to drink.

Listening to the river and tuning out the crowd’s chatter, I remembered the last time — the first time — I found myself in the presence of elk. At an empty campsite on a rocky creek in Oregon, in the cool morning just after dawn, I walked through the mist. Moisture hung low to the earth to make the lush ferns mysterious and magical. I had left my camera in the tent, having taken many pictures the day before. I wanted to lose myself on the winding trail that followed along the creek, beneath trees adorned with moss. As I bathed in the forest, I saw a family of elk drinking. Two cows, a bull, and a few calfs. I stopped, obscuring myself behind a tree, in awe of their elusive nobility. After a few breaths, I stepped around the tree and towards the creek to get closer. They each stopped drinking to watch me. Having their peace disturbed, they backed away into the forest and mist.

We returned to the road leaving Yellowstone after taking our pictures and enjoying the elk. We drove to a campsite nestled between hills. We walked beside a meadow while the sky turned pink and purple, passing deer who leaped as we neared. 

The next morning, we woke early, broke camp and continued north to Glacier. A haze had settled in over night. North of Bozeman, forcing us to abandon our plans, the air grew thick and brown. 

Smoke from Oregon. Forests burning. Flames intensified by human-created climate change, taking the moss, ferns, trees, insects, and wildlife — the elk. 

Under the smoke, my heart burned along with my relations, children of the earth and sky.